Yes it's really me

I guess it's about time I contribute to the blog, although I don't want to take anything away from Mark. He is doing such an outstanding job. It's no secret that anyone who knows Mark from his teen years will agree, that he has more than made up for my sleepless nights. I couldn't ask for a more supportive and caring child. I say child, although he is almost 34. Anyone know a cute single girl who would like to meet a cute never married, obviously sensitive, firefighter who takes great photographs and is very handy around the house? Forever the mother.

I'm healing well from the surgery, although it has now been 5 weeks and I feel as though I should have progressed further in the healing process. I still have some pinching and redness. I'm on my second round of antibotics. I probably went off the meds too early, but whenever I have breakthrough pain, I take some Tylonol an seem to be back on track. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not much of a "rester". I had no idea having Cancer could keep you so busy.

I hate the night. I don't sleep well and I think I must have ADD, because everytime I try to meditate, within 2 minutes I'm thinking of what I must accomplish tomorrow. My evening prayer is to make this day pass quickly, make tomorrow sunny.

I know I am on the ride of my life. It's like a new roller coaster and right in the front seat. As I started my ascent the butterblies are in the pit of stomach and my adrenlin starts coursing through my body. When I reach the top I have no idea what is in store for me. If Chemo is the crest, then I'm not in bad shape, but I know it's a long ride.

I fortunately have eased up on the 24/7 thinking of cancer. Although now I think about when I reach the other side how there will always be this black vapor lurking behind me. Normally life travels so fast we wonder where the week went. When you have cancer every day is 48 hrs long.

Chemo has treated me well so far. I do have a burning at the site, so I can only think it must be breaking down the tumor. Power of positive thinking! Those of you who know better, don't tell me I'm living in Fantasy Land. No hair loss and no major side effects.

I had a wonderful visit with my neice Nancy and her 2 almost teen children. Nobody pushed me to "perform". The best day was the ride down to Big Sur. We had a picnic at the River Inn, coffee at Nepenthe's and a little walk at Pheifer State Beach. That was the most glorious day I can remember having in a long time.

While reading an atricle Alice Knapp sent me, a quote stuck out, as it is my philosophy. (I wish I had thought of it first) "I can be happy with cancer or sad with cancer. Either way, I have cancer. So why not enjoy life."

My focus is giving and doing anything that gives me joy and it's not traveling or the plethora of things people in my situation think they must do. It's being around my beloved family and great friends that give me the greatest joy.

Thank you all for all the wonderful cards, well wishes, phone calls, flowers, prayers and books.

For now, love to you all
Lorraine

Round 2

Mom had her second round of chemo on Friday. She told me that she still didn't feel too bad from it, maybe only slightly worse. She had a restful weekend. My cousin Nancy left on Friday after a week. They had a chance to visit with my mom and we had some good time playing cards and had a BBQ at my house one night. I spent the night in S.F. with them and we had a good visit and a great meal together at a fantastic Italian joint in N.Beach. Friday they left to go back to Boston. I was in a wedding for my long time friends Jeremy and Courtney on Saturday so the whole weekend from Friday until now has been taken by that. It was a great wedding up at the Roaring Camp Railroad which turned out to be a great idea and was an amazing place for a wedding. We took the train up to the Redwoods for the ceremony. It was a great weekend.

Mom told me tonight that she was in a little pain mostly her back and she hasn't been sleeping all that well. I think mostly it's probably a little bit of her overdoing it during the day, which is pretty typical of her. She will have one more chemo session at the end of this week then two weeks off before the radiation treatment at Stanford.
So far so good...

It's on!

Chemo was a success. She is home resting and feeling no ill effects so far. She said that she didn't feel a thing. No burning, no discomfort.

Mom got home and a had a good rest in anticipation of my cousin arriving from Boston. Nancy got to the house around five. We all had a great visit. With my mom's side of the family there is never any shortage of laughter and there was plenty tonight. We grilled up some big burgers and sat around the dinner table telling stories. Mom talked about some of the times back in the day when she was young around Somerville just outside Boston. Nancy grew up in the same house so they share a lot of common memories. Mom had a great time tonight and it was a nice break from the routine. There was very little talk about cancer, it was just family hanging out. I think it was very therapeutic for her. Nancy will be in town for the week so I'm sure there'll be no shortage of card games, which is big in mom's family.

There is nothing else on the calendar as far as treatment goes until next week when she will have her next treatment.

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We're heading to the doctor today at 9:30 to see if mom is ready for the chemo. I will try to update later today.

Visitors

Just so everyone knows, mom will not be receiving chemo in the hospital and will not be hospitalized. More to follow...

Port Call

Yesterday mom had a port and a ciliac block done. The port is basically a semi-permanent IV line so that she doesn't have to get stuck every time and doesn't have to worry about an infiltrated IV. The procedure went well and she came out of it with her back feeling much better. It has been bothering her from the pressure of the tumor. The ciliac block numbs the nerve endings in the area and should work to reduce some of the pain. The doctor said it doesn't always work but it was worth a try. The pain came back to some extent last night so I don't know how well it's working but we'll give it a couple days and see how it feels.
On Friday she will go in and see the surgeon again to have a look at her incision from the surgery. It has been a little infected. Not to the point to worry about too much but to the point that she may not be ready to have chemo if she has an infection. If the doctors think it is minor enough then she will start chemo that day. If not then it will be put off.
Mom's niece and her daughters are coming to town on Friday for a week from Boston. I know she is looking forward to seeing her as they are very close. Unfortunately mom should be starting chemo that day. My cousin is a nurse practitioner in Boston so it will be nice to have her around and she is of course understanding of what mom is dealing with and isn't expectant of mom to be too entertaining. I'm looking forward to it as well, as I have most of the week off from work while she is here.
I'll update again on Friday...

Round 1

Mom will be starting chemotherapy next Thursday. She will have it once a week for three weeks, followed by two weeks off. During the two weeks off, preparation will be done for her radiation treatments at Stanford. After her two weeks off chemo she will have up to five radiation sessions over the course of a week. This will be followed by two more weeks off then another round of chemo.

Of course, mom is a bit terrified of chemo, and rightly so I'm sure, but the doc told her that the one she is taking is not one of the really bad ones as far as side effects are concerned. Everyones body handles it differently so we'll see how she does. I know she is just happy to gt the ball rolling.

It will be mid-way through next week before I post again.