Reality sets in (a little)

I think it hit her pretty hard last night. She woke this morning saying that last night she came out of a deep sleep and it just hit her, "I have cancer." This was the first time that she really saw this for what it is. I guess everyone kind of processes it at a different pace. I think it has set in for me and I know that we likely have a long difficult road ahead. The little bit I have had the chance to read about pancreatic cancer is not very nice. It's up there with the bad ones. Everyone says how tough mom is but she's not so sure. I am. She was tough enough to get through 18 years raising me and that was no easy feat.

As far as the hospital goes, they are taking very good care of her. We have her on the floor where I work. I know all of the staff here very well and many of them already know her through her work in HR. Mom is very popular here at SVMH. I stayed last night and all of today and I'll be here again tonight. It's been good for both of us. I'm here to get whatever she needs right away and make sure that everyone is looking after her and I get to have the chance to sit and talk with her when she's awake. I think that she should have someone here to talk whenever the mood strikes her while she is going through this roller coaster of emotions.

She has already had many visitors and the support from everyone has been wonderful. From friends and family to co-workers to the crew at the firehouse, you have all been great and it is so appreciated. I think over the next couple days as her strength comes up she will be up for more visitors.

We look forward to hopefully meeting with the medical oncologist in the morning to get some of the many questions we have answered. At some point when she is healthy enough to travel we plan to get her up to Stanford University Hospital where they actually have a dedicated pancreatic cancer center with the best doctors and processes in the world. My cousin Nancy has connections through her work at Harvard and we look forward to taking full advantage of this blessing.